Safety first: condom craze again

By Shannon Gentry

Last time we parted on an icy-hot note with condoms. Did anyone dare take the challenge? If not, I certainly don’t blame you; condoms are a necessary inconvenience for some people, so why would you add third-degree burns to the list of condom cons?

But aren’t there any condoms that are pleasing in addition to the other obvious benefits?

For the sake of safety, I would like to revisit the topic of condoms, because there are simply so many areas to cover. For instance, did you know that you no longer have to make the arduous walk to Kroger or CVS, nor drive to Target or Walmart, to get your costly contraceptives?

Nevermind the cost, but going into certain places can still be downright embarrassing.

I imagine that the reason Kroger has its condoms under lock and key is so that the stock will not disappear. But at 28 years old, I feel a little awkward asking someone to retrieve the Her Pleasures pack for me. Not only that, the employee must then escort me with the condoms to a register.

As I am sex-driven and lustful, I am likely a kleptomaniac as well. What if you want a little more discretion?

In case you are looking for an alternative to going to the store, there are online one-stop shops like Condom Depot for all of your needs and preferences.

Home of the 2011 World’s Best Condoms, you can shop for variety and bulk at your leisure in the privacy of your own home. But is it cost effective as well?

Well, it costs anywhere from $5-$7 for a three-pack of condoms at the local stores listed above, anywhere from $6-$16 for a 12-pack and 36-packs can get into upwards of $20 and more (depending on the brand and the store).

At Condom Depot, you can get a 54-pack of the number-one ranked condom, the Crown Skinless Skin, for $16.99 with no shipping or handling fee. The package comes within four to five days and does not have “condoms” written in big bold letters for your postman to see.

It’s easy, generally fast and cheap.

Some of you might think, why in the world would I want 54 condoms?

Well, it is not that I believe everyone needs cases and cases of condoms to sustain a safe sexual lifestyle. Personally, I like the idea that I can buy something like this in bulk. It’s cost effective, discreet and the variety is beyond that of what I can get at nearby gas stations, grocery stores and super marts.

Variety was my main motivation here. The same old spermicidal, lubed-up, latex-smelling condoms are boring, yet so necessary because the pill is “un-a-pilling” to me. I decided to take a chance and order the World’s Best Condom Tin for the flat rate of $27.95. The tin includes:

  • Three Crown Skinless Skin (must be number one for a reason)
  • Three Durex Extra Sensitive
  • Three Beyond Seven
  • Three Durex Love (the wrapping looks like Valentine candy)
  • Three Trustex Extra Large
  • Three LifeStyles Sheer Pleasure
  • Three Durex Her Sensation
  • Three Lifestyles X2
  • Three Bare Pleasure Condoms (How bare? It still works, right?)
  • Three Beyond Seven Studded Condoms (not sure what “studded” means in this case)
  • Two Vibrating Johnny Vibrating Condoms (I’m excited and terrified at the same time)

Plus:

  • Two WET lubricant foil packs
  • Two Eros lubricant foil packs
  • Condom instructions
  • Discount card

That’s about 87 cents per condom! OK, maybe the inner bargain shopper is getting a little excited, but it’s a deal. Additionally, this site can provide cases and cases of condoms for a good price to any individual or organization that simply wants to promote safe sex, including schools and clinics.

So I say, good job, Condom Depot, for providing a much-needed service to sexually active people across the country.

If you have any questions about safe sex, awareness programs or other general questions that you feel need to be answered, email me. Safety first.

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