“Will and Harper” teaches us that a friend is a friend is a friend

Written by Olivia Longoria. Photos by Ally Abruscato.

“A couple old friends and a couple brand new breasts” Kristen Wigg hilariously, yet somehow so endearingly sings in the theme song for “Will and Harper,” a featured Doc to Watch this year. “Will and Harper” is the honest, intimate story of two people redefining their relationship with grace and empathy. Three years ago, Will Ferrell received an email letting him know that his long-time close friend had transitioned to live as a woman- Harper Steele. Harper and Will first met on the set of “Saturday Night Live” and have remained friends and colleagues. They would frequently attend basketball games or surprise each other at dive bars. But since Harper’s transition, she was unsure if she’d be able to share those same experiences with her friend, or feel safe in those environments at all. So, the two embark on a cross country roadtrip to explore answers to those questions, and redefine their friendship.

We are so lucky as viewers to have witnessed learning moments in real time. For example, during the Texas leg of the trip, Will and Harper visit restaurant The Big Texan near Amarillo, where Will participates in a 72oz steak challenge. The two of them are announced, and seated in the center of the restaurant, surrounded by patrons and the flash of their phones. Immediately, the tension was palpable. The host stutters before announcing Miss Harper Steele as Will’s guest, and the camera flashes to an uneasy Harper. As people whispered and took photos, the viewer could feel it wasn’t well intentioned. Ferrell mentions to Harper that in all of his experience in “a fish bowl” this was the worst one. This scene is sad, uncomfortable, reeking of anxiety and real. It was so impactful to witness Ferrall’s realization that in their friendship’s new dynamic, Harper’s safety needs to be considered. Being otherized is often something not thought about until it affects you directly. That shouldn’t be the case, of course, but to show with such honesty the initial ignorance of Ferrell turned to concern, turned to guilt, turned to anger that these prejudices exist was brave, and important. The next day, Ferrell cries while telling Harper he felt he failed her, to which Harper responds with the grace of letting her friend learn and reassurance that he is not to blame. What a beautiful human moment. 

At the end of the film, the two share a beer with their toes buried in California sand. Harper had earlier opened up about her experience wearing makeup and feeling disappointment when she still feels “masculine” within her facial features. In a beautiful moment, Ferrell recalls this sentiment she had shared, and gives Harper a pair of diamond earrings. He reassures and reminds Harper that it’s okay to adorn yourself with things that make you feel good and beautiful. The sincerity from Ferrell and vulnerability from Harper in this closing scene was nothing short of beautiful. This was a perfect visualization of being seen, and in my opinion, a message that it isn’t actually hard to know what someone needs, if you just listen. 

“Will and Harper” is a raw, honest and endearing story that reminds us a friend is a friend is a friend, no matter what.

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