By Jordan Wannemacher
This week on “Teen Mom 2”:
Leah
Luckily, Ali’s “Em ar ahh” went really well. Meanwhile, Leah is planning her West Virginia “coon-style” wedding. She went dress shopping, and to my extreme shock she actually bought a pretty classy dress (no camo!) and her mom agreed to let her splurge a grand on it. Poking fun aside, I am rooting for these two. Corey may be a goofy and awkward redneck, but I still want to see them succeed in the end.
Kailyn
Kailyn mustered up the spine to tell Joe the truth about Jordan. It went terribly. It started off as a civil and honest discussion and then quickly took a sharp turn into indecent name-calling and “bad parent” accusations. Then he told her to “get the f*** out of my house.” I surely thought we’d find Kailyn under a bridge after that statement.
But wait. Her mom did something nice.
After a desperate phone call to her mom, the true “bad parent” on the show, her mom agreed to let her live in her house for as long as she needs. She of course set some ground rules. Not texting all of the time? OK, sounds great. Thanks for pulling through after 18 years.
Then, in an attempt to get back her stuff, Joe brings up his $600 loan to Kailyn and refuses to give her their child or her stuff until she pays him back. Her mom decides she’s going to be the hero in this situation and calls “the authorities.” What a mess.
Life lesson here, Kailyn? Any amount of money given to you is going to come with some strings attached to it, especially $600.
Chelsea
First of all, did anyone else catch that skanky glamour shot of Chelsea and her baby on the top of her dresser? I re-winded my TV four times to pause on that clip.
In other Chelsea news, as the great Jeff Buckley would say, “Hallelujah!” Adam is gone.
Much to Chelsea’s “surprise” (and to everyone else’s prediction), things with Adam finally go into a nuclear meltdown. Chelsea thinks a “family day” at the fair will fix everything. She needs more than a fair to fix her problems. She needs therapy.
The fair goes well for about three minutes until Adam refuses to even pay for his ticket. Then the name-calling ensues. I don’t know about you guys, but I love when my boyfriend screams about what a “stupid b****” I am in public places around small children and the elderly, really.
Whatever, I’m just glad he’s out of the picture… for now.
Jenelle
Things are going well for Jenelle at home after her mom kicks Kiefer out. They even call a truce (second one I’ve seen on this season).
Then there’s another fight. Jenelle, of course, escapes to go see Kiefer. He arrives, after what seems like his first shower all season, and starts whining about being homesick. Jenelle decides that, as a young mother, it’s the perfect time to embrace her spontaneity in life and suggest to Kiefer that they drive to New Jersey. Jenelle opted to tell her mom she’s going to Myrtle Beach, S.C. (two hours to the south) when in fact she will be in New Jersey, 10 hours to the north.
Here’s the kicker: She is using her mom’s credit card.
I think someone needs to explain two things to Jenelle:
1. How birth control works
2. What a “credit card statement” is.
I’m so over her.
I’m not sure how many episodes are left in this season, but I never want it to stop.
Just remember, teen pregnancy is 100 percent preventable.
