By Jordan Wannemacher
Last night consisted of watching “Teen Mom 2” while switching, during commercial breaks to “Charlie Sheen: In His Own Words” on “20/20.” Needless to say, my night was full of a lot of LOLs.
Leah
Wedding plans are in full effect for her and Corey this week. They even went to visit the “coon skin” wedding chapel to see if they could get married there soon.
I kid you not. The place was actually called “coon skin.” Yes, as in raccoon skin. If that’s not a West Virginia wedding, I don’t know what is.
The “EM-ARR-AIH” trip was “a lot more easier” since Corey went. The end was still devastating watching them embrace in hysterical crying in the middle of the hospital. Go sit in the car please.
Kailyn
Kailyn is all about Jordan this episode so she decides to go on a date and make Joe take care of the baby. His response? “You suck.” Good one, Joe.
I just can’t believe what a female dog she’s being considering how much Joe and his family have done for her. I really don’t even feel bad for her anymore. Lying is making you “soooooo paranoid,” Kailyn?
Well then stop doing it and figure out what you want! This season is almost over, you’re running out of time!
Chelsea
Wow, I have no words. Just kidding. I have a couple.
Her boyfriend Adam is quite possibly the most nauseating human being I’ve ever witnessed in my entire life. I hope that Chelsea finally gets rid of him soon and that he never gets another girlfriend ever again for the rest of his life after this spectacle has been aired on television. Someone please intervene and stop this loser from freeloading off of Chelsea and her family. I’m disgustingly shocked he is still around.
“I USED TO HAVE TO FORCE HIM TO HANG OUT SO I LIKE THAT HE LIVES HERE SO I DON’T HAVE TO!”
Ugh, Chelsea, it’s because he has nowhere else to go. If you don’t even trust him to work at a restaurant, there is no way this relationship is going to work. End it now.
Jenelle
Last, but not least. Her mom shockingly lets her and her homeless boyfriend (even though I guess they’re both homeless at this point) come stay in her house for a while.
Surprise! It doesn’t go over very well.
Jenelle spends all her time fighting with her mom. Her mom literally cries over spilled milk on the couch because Jenelle’s too lazy to even clean it up. She’s so stoned in this episode that she is actually eating baby food.
“Man, mom, these puffs are gooooddd,” she says at one point. Go take your munchies out on some Oreos like a normal pothead, Jenelle.
Then they really ruin it. Jenelle just had to take the edge off and decided it was a good idea to get stoned in her mom’s front yard right in front of the baby. Are you just trying to give your child up? I don’t care how stressed you are, bringing illegal drugs around a 1-year-old is a quick ticket to jail and never being a parent ever again.
Jenelle needs to be taken out back and shot. I’m sure Corey could drive to North Carolina and handle that. She is officially the most selfish human being I’ve ever seen in my life, especially if she decides to run off to New Jersey.
The sad part is, the insecurities these girls display are really heartbreaking. It’s obvious now that their irrational and irresponsible behavior is due to deeper issues.
Trashy teenage trainwreck, full speed ahead. Just remember, kids, teen pregnancy is 100 percent preventable.
