SAVANNAH (Oct. 27) — Looking at the photos of my week, I see a lonely routine. This is all the stuff I expect myself to do for most of my weeks at SCAD and there isn’t a deviation outside of that car photo (damage after a bad turn into a wall). But what strikes me about the photos is that they don’t show people or interactions. Just places and things I visit, use or eat.
On the one hand, it shows I can work and live independently without much trouble. On the other, this isn’t something I really want.
I don’t have a problem being alone, and judging from the pictures I’m comfortable with it. Yet, I don’t want to just be alone, going to the usual classes and back to my dorm without going out with people. And from the photos I did take, the only new place was the Blue Door after going to Arnold Hall for four years.
This isn’t as much as a revelatory experience I’m making it out to be. I knew this about myself, how distant but functioning I can be. Yet, having it thrown at me with all of these boring pictures is different, like I want to be better but don’t know how to do that. But I think I’m going to try and pursue it, even if it will make me uncomfortable for the most part.
And maybe in the end I’ll have someone actually in a photo.
