By Kenneth Rosen
When an ex-staffer screamed, “shut the f*** up and eat,” I was quickly silenced and focused on my task at hand. Though it didn’t help as far as expanding my stomach, it encouraged me not to give up.
How I found myself in front of B&D Burger’s hamburger challenge in the wee hours of that afternoon, I’m still not quite sure.
Since my time in Savannah, I’ve eaten at B&D’s twice. Each time I’d go it would usually be around lunchtime on a weekend and I’d always order “The Jefferson.” It seemed fitting as it’s the street on which I live, and I love a juicy half-pound burger with Swiss cheese and sauteed peppers.
But this time, I wasn’t going for a half-pound. This time I asked them to “bring it on.”
B&D’s burger challenge is no joke for the lone-eater: Three pounds of beef, three buns and one pound of fries in 40 minutes or less. I hadn’t eaten anything other than a Snickers bar in the past 24 hours, so why not do as Americans do? Go big.
Behind my table was a wall of fame dedicated to those who have eaten and conquered the challenge. The quickest anyone has done it, you ask? Nine minutes and 55 seconds.
I began first with a bun filled with fries. No good. Then, one burger at a time, but that would take forever. When the ex-staffer arrived to cheer me on, I was 20 minutes in and had made some headway. By then I ate two patties, one bun and a handful of fries.
“Shut the f*** up and start eating!”
It was a very serious moment, which, as I said, encouraged me but did not free any more room in my little tummy. From then until the clock ran out, I nibbled away at the remaining patty.
The staffer and his girlfriend started losing hope in me and the friend that had accompanied me started messing around on his phone. There was no way I could finish this. When the clock finally ran out, I had finished only a little more than I had at the halfway point. Failure.
When it comes to the point where I can’t eat anymore, I start to chew and chew and fill my mouth more and chew and chew, but never swallow.
It’s weird, and I can’t ever explain why. Maybe because I just can’t handle the amount of food I’m trying to eat, or maybe because the more food there is in my mouth, the less I have to say.
But losing hasn’t discouraged me. I love the choice of burgers from “The Telfair,” to “The Broughton,” B&D has a selection that any burger-lover would die for.
Needless to say, try the challenge and you just might actually die.
B&D Burgers
13 Broughton St.
Savannah, Ga. 31401
B&D Burgers
11108 Abercorn St.
Savannah, Ga. 31416
