By Deanne Revel
I try to address ridiculous yet whimsical dating trends, but this week I found a trend that is heartbreaking and serious.
According to Break the Cycle, a nonprofit organization seeking to “engage, empower and educate” teens about domestic violence, “One in three teens will experience abuse in a dating relationship and two-thirds of them will never report it to anyone.”
In their 2007 report, Break the Cycle’s board of directors president Sam Pryor said, “Eighty percent of girls experiencing physical violence will continue to date their abuser.”
Rihanna is getting back together with Chris Brown. Celebrity couples are not setting the best example, but Break the Cycle argues that state legislation affects teen dating violence too.
On March 24, Break the Cycle released the 2009 state-by-state teen dating violence report card.
The evaluation was based on state civil domestic violence protection and restraining order laws. Negative factors included: not mentioning sexual abuse in the definition of abuse, neglecting domestic violence protection for homosexual couples and not allowing a restraining order to be filed against a minor.
States that do not recognize dating relationships as a domestic relationship for obtaining restraining orders or states that do not provide restraining orders or protection orders for minors receive an automatic failure.
The state of Georgia has failed—two years running.
Break the Cycle failed the state because Georgia “severely impedes teen victims’ access to domestic violence protection orders.”
Georgia’s report says that if you are younger than 18, you may not personally file a protection order. Even if you are 18 or older, you do not qualify for a protection order unless the romantic relationship you had with your abuser falls under at least one of three different categories: lived with or used to live with, have a child with or married or used to be married to the abuser.
In comparison, California’s report states that you are qualified for a protection order if you have dated or are dating the abuser, without having to reside with them. Also, California residents may obtain a protection order without parent or guardian consent at the age of 12. California received an “A.”
Georgia was not the only state to fail. Ten other states received “F” letter grades including the state of Virginia, where Chris Brown was born and raised.
From the ages of 7 to 13 he witnessed his mother suffer domestic abuse from her boyfriend.
The state of Virginia does not recognize a dating relationship with an abuser as a qualifying relationship for a protection order.
If Virginia offered better civil domestic violence protection, Brown’s mother could have obtained a protection order. Brown could have experienced American justice and maybe the Rihanna incident would have never happened.
If Virginia offered better civil domestic violence protection, maybe Brown and his family could “break the cycle.”
Only eight states’ grades improved from 2008.
“Domestic violence is a serious problem,” reads Break the Cycle’s petition to require U.S. schools to educate students about healthy dating relationships, “and it’s not just an adult problem.”
To sign this petition or learn more about Break the Cycle visit: www.breakthecycle.org.
