I’m Sorry I’m Not a Robot

written by Isabella Lacy-Halteman

I’m sorry I’m not a robot

I don’t come with adjustable settings 

Or a user manual book

My off button seems to be non-existent

But please let me know if I need to shut down

If I was, I’m afraid my nuts and bolts would be rusty 

And my model number would be dusty 

I wouldn’t have all the newest updates 

So, you might be better off trading me in for parts

I’m sorry you can’t customize me 

Down to the inch or centimeter of your preference 

But make some suggestions and I will see what I can do

At first glance I may seem like a super fun-crazy way to fill your weekends

Wait just a little longer for the not-so-fun-crazy

I promise it is there

I will not blame you if it’s too much

My reviews from the past have taught me that much

But I will do my best to keep it under wraps

If I had the chance to fill myself with metal and programming

I’d like to say I wouldn’t

I’d like to say I’d embrace who I am and screw anyone who didn’t like it

But the fear that I will end up being the only one who likes it

Feels like an anvil one wrong move from crushing me

Hopefully I will never have the chance to know my real answer

For now, I’ll just settle with my apology again 

But is a 2-D Stepford wife really what you want?

I think that would be extremely boring 

Then I remember you don’t want interesting

You don’t want complex or multifaceted

You only want that interest when it is convenient to you

Convenient to your schedule, your life

Not my schedule, not my life 

What is my life?

What do you want it to be?

Be there for you, cook and clean for you, love you

I don’t need anything back; I know you’re busy

I’m sorry I’m not a robot