Resolution Revolution

Written by Avery Melhado. Graphic by Avery Melhado.

New year, new me. Or at least that’s what I used to tell myself each Jan. 1, prepped at midnight with pages of pre-written resolutions and a vision board to match. Resolutions have always seemed like a new beginning, an opportunity to change my life and somehow become a better version of myself. I would set goals to run a certain amount of miles each week, or read for this many minutes every day. I tried new routines, new hobbies and new styles. I wanted to be better— something tangible that I could prove at the end of 12 months. 

The problem with resolutions, though, is that they often aren’t making us better. They create change, sure, but it isn’t always positive. Declaring a resolution and inevitably failing after the first month can actually make us feel even worse. As we see year after year, our resolutions usually end up being not very resolute at all.

The problem with the common resolution is a lack of longevity. If you’re doing something for an entire year, it better be realistic. Sorry, but there’s no way most of us are running every day for 12 months or reading 100 books in a year. Maybe for some people that works, but you must already have a lifestyle that is compatible with those goals. For most of us, resolutions fail because they are idealized. It’s easy to think about doing something every day, but when it actually comes down to it, 365 days in a row is a lot to commit to, especially if it’s not something you’re already fond of doing. 

This is not to denounce the idea of the resolution. A resolution can be done well, made achievable and realistic while still seeming exciting. To change our idea of what a resolution is, though, we have to change our entire way of thinking. What if resolutions didn’t have to be unbearable? What if they didn’t have to be “commitments” at all? What if a resolution was something we could actually incorporate into our lives every day without thinking too much about it? 

While I still write the same list of resolutions and make a vision board each year, I have learned the art of the resolution and how to stick with it. This starts with reshaping your goals. If you want to exercise more, tune in with your body and your schedule. Maybe you can’t run five miles per day, but you could run on a certain day of the week and also go to that yoga class you’ve been eyeing. If you want to save money, create a weekly goal of how much to save and how much to spend. Give yourself room to not always meet it each week while still meeting your goal by the end of the year. If your goal is to read more, try bringing a book with you wherever you go and reading instead of going on your phone. You’ll be surprised how much time you actually have to read. Creating achievable resolutions like these often leads to more progress than extreme resolutions that you drop within weeks. Slow and steady wins the race. 

This year, I’m also focusing on passive resolutions. These “resolutions” are really just general themes for the year. They’re things to remind yourself of, ways that you want to go through the world. Being a “better person” should start with how you feel and how you handle yourself, not with how many miles you can run. Reminders like, “the phone works both ways” and “advocate for yourself” are simple enough to remember, but powerful enough to create lasting change. 

Just for fun, here’s some of my resolutions and “resolutions,” past and present:

  • Don’t hold yourself back
  • Spend more meaningful time with friends
  • Exercise control over your own life
  • Take better care of your plants 
  • Cultivate more love 
  • Start playing piano again 
  • Don’t say sorry when you don’t mean it 
  • Make more art 
  • Accept that sometimes things are out of your control
  • There are no rules!!!

So, this year, think about your resolutions differently. Who do you want to be? How do you want to get there? What do you want to spend these 365 days doing? Make it something possible, something worthwhile, and most importantly, something that means something to you. 

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