Ten from the Top: things I should be aware of
Ten from the Top is the weekly column of the very honest and often snarky thoughts of District’s editor-in-chief.
By all standard definitions, I am a functioning adult. I drive a car that I bought; I pay the gas and insurance and have a job where I work at a desk with pencils and pens that I did not have to steal. I do errands. I buy food and occasionally even clean things without being told to do so. However, I hope I am actually nowhere close to being an adult because I make way to many mistakes (I mean too many: ugh, see?)
1. My personal finances should not be considered “under control” as long as the balance in my account is above zero.
I swear I work too hard to be this poor. Maybe buying all those supplies was a mistake. I should just sell my work down on River Street.
2. How often are you actually supposed to wash sheets?
Is waiting until I spill something on them too long? And I’m not going to even try folding them. They are going to be in a ball in the closet; clean or not!
3. Where did my pencil/phone/car keys/left sock go?
4. Someone must be sneaking into my apartment and using my shampoo;
that is the only explanation for why two bottles of shampoo and conditioner that are EXACTLY the same size are never finished anywhere close to the same time.
5. Are you supposed to wash jeans?
Should I wash them with my sheets?
6. How do you get charcoal out of anything because, my God, it is everywhere.
Except on the drawing assignment I haven’t done yet, of course.
7. I am realizing how much you actually have to vacuum, dust, “Febreze” things.
When did my mom find time to do this? Are you supposed to magically know how to do this right when you are an adult (I mean, like a functioning adult)?
8. Is it possible to brew coffee incorrectly?
A real adult told me that a cup was burnt after I had already drank two cups. How can you tell? If it’s making me stay awake long enough to drink, isn’t that enough?
9. If I read as much in a book as I do checking Facebook and emails I could finish a small series every week.
10. Just my life in general!
