Ten from The Top: what I didn’t expect to learn
Ten from the Top is the weekly column of the very honest and often snarky thoughts of District’s editor-in-chief.
I did not come to college under the assumption that I would learn. OK, I knew I would learn but I didn’t expect to learn outside of my classes except for a few things. It seems the longer I’m here the more the classes seem to be the stuff in between everything else. There is no study guide for this kind of “how-to” junk.
1. How to manage things: Obligations include but are not limited to making appointments, showing up to said appointments, calling people, managing finances, keeping myself alive when I inevitably run out of finances, remembering birthdays and anniversaries and not losing my keys again.
2. How to act at anytime, ever: I know how to act politely, but college makes you carry yourself in a different way. I had to learn how to walk into a room full of my superiors and convince them I was their equal. In the same way, I had to learn how to make myself relax and enjoy myself even when I am freaking out over that deadline for that group assignment, and the stress is awful and why can’t people just get their stuff done already? OK, maybe I need to keep working on that last one but you get the idea.
3. How to cook: And I mean legitimately cook actual food. No ramen, no microwavable instructions and no getting takeout just because I messed up and don’t want anyone to know.
4. How to be close with people: College will exhaust you, I know I don’t need to remind you of that. The friends you make will also be just as exhausted but I can think of no other place where they will stay up to pull an all-nighter with you even if they don’t have to. Revel in the exhaustion together and there will be kind of nice times too. After graduation you probably will remember those times better anyway.
5. How not to fall in love: Coming from a family where my parents met in college and both sets of grandparents had their first kid in college, I was almost expecting to graduate with an engagement ring. Seems a little stupid now but that was the plan and I’m figuring out that I am really super duper OK with that not happening. Actually I’m pretty relieved. Some people meet and fall in love in college or in high school or at their 20-year reunions and any way is fine no need to set a strict four year deadline though on finding “the one.”
6. How to gauge myself: What exactly is the right amount of time to set aside to study? How long do I wait to text him? When exactly is the level of having no food that requires going and buying more? These are things I should have learned before, but just never thought enough about to really care. Being on my own, I have learned all of these; not always in the most graceful of ways, but I learned them just the same.
7. How to trust my instincts: I was in the very lucky sheltered place before college and never had to deal with peer pressure — not once. Which made it all the more difficult to trust my instincts in college. I had to find where my lines were, be it dating or sleep deprivation.
8. How to network: Oh the terrible word, networking. It is undeniably weird going up to someone and saying, “Hey I like the things you do, how do I do the same thing too?” Except that it isn’t weird, that’s all there is. throw in some business cards and a website — if you’re feeling really fancy — and voila! you have networked.
9. How to make really, good coffee: We all have our priorities here and this is one of my proudest accomplishments.
10. How to manage adult life: When I was little I did not wonder where my house came from, it was just there. I also didn’t think about apartment shopping, buying a mattress, setting up internet and cable, paying the electricity and water bill or really anything else involved with living on my own. I still don’t know how all of it works, but I have made enough successful decisions to at least have a roof over my head and Netflix capabilities.
