“Mom, you need to stop calling me when I’m doing cool stuff!”
Photos courtesy of Netflix
I remember walking out of “Spider-Man” for the first time when I was 8 and wanting to run to the nearest wall and climb it. Superhero movies used to provide a great service by sparking that childlike imagination in everyone and telling kids they’ve got the potential to be awesome. There was magic in them, but the recent films seem to have lost that little spark of inspiration for the sake of explosive energy. As an adult, I like violence and shiny things, but I always think back to that kid who tried to shoot webs out of her fists when nobody was looking, and wish I could get back to that. It’s sad, really.
So imagine my surprise when a Danish film about a kid with ant-like abilities reminded me of that little spark. It’s ridiculous, and deserves its 43 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but damn it all if I didn’t enjoy it.
“Tiny and insignificant,” Pelle narrates.
In “Antboy,” directed by Ask Hasselbalch, Pelle (Oscar Dietz) is a painfully average 12-year-old until he’s bitten by a genetically mutated ant and gains superhuman abilities. With the help of a comic book nerd — Wilhelm (Samuel Ting Graf) — he becomes Antboy, saving babies from burning buildings and gaining the affection of the prettiest girl in school. His only foreseeable weakness is low blood sugar, easily remedied by a candy bar. Or five. It’s all smooth sailing, until “The Flea” (Nicolas Bro) kidnaps his crush.
If it’s staring to sound familiar, you’re on the right track. “Antboy” is “Spider-Man” without Uncle Ben or a sense of responsibility. Peter wants to save the world and Pelle wants to be popular. While the characters and love interests are different, the story borders on plagiarism. Even the scene where Peter is convulsing in his sleep as the effects of the spider’s bite are transforming him is copied almost identically. The main difference being that Pelle doesn’t wake up with abs or perfect vision, just the aftermath of the intense sugar craving that made him ransack the pantry.
Yeah, I definitely want this guy as a dodgeball referee.
There are a number of things that don’t seem to make sense, including the color-coded gym uniforms and the fact that nobody is questioning if it’s okay for a minor to run around in a cape. But I’m mainly concerned about how Wilhelm is the only person in this universe who likes superheroes, except adults that are just way too creepy. The abusive gym teacher trope is common, but this one really takes the cake as he challenges the boy with the least muscle mass to a sparring match in front of his peers. This guy probably didn’t want to be a gym teacher, but now he’s stuck and thinks taking his aggression out preteens is fair. I don’t suppose background checks were an option in the hiring process.
Then there’s “The Flea,” the biggest creep that ever oozed out your childhood nightmares. He was a scientist researching a cure-all by mutating ants in the hopes of saving his dying mother. After his funding is cut off from his employer, and his mother dies from the lack of treatment, he turns his attention to a blood-thirsty flea. Like Pelle and sugar, he needs to feed on human blood or his powers slowly fade. He makes it convenient by hooking a tube to his
Ew. Ew. Ew.
neck and carrying what could be classified as a steampunk camelback for vampires. He’s also a mouthbreather. There wasn’t a single scene where I didn’t want to shrink away every time he spoke in that wet, gravelly whisper. The bogeyman had more charisma.
Regardless of unpleasantness and blatant references to franchise superheroes, this was a sweet movie. At its cheesy heart, the story is about friendship. Two outcasts — one dismissed for his passion, and the other simply dismissed — work together to make something greater than themselves. It all comes down to the decision between being liked and doing the right thing. As a means of instilling messages to children, this film is sending out the right ones.
I’m really disappointed they didn’t have a secret super handshake.
Maybe I am being a little unfair toward Hasselbalch, considering that it’s nearly impossible to create an entirely new superhero. I can find it in myself to forgive him for his ad lib methods simply because the formula works. It’s not something we see anymore with superheroes today, who are supposed to be role models, and it was refreshing to feel a bit invincible, even if it’s just for a second.
So if you’re stuck in a rut and need to feel good about yourself, “Antboy” won’t hurt your self-esteem.
