The sunrise, the animals, the native African chanting… is this the “Lion King?”
Images courtesy of Netflix
We’re back on track this week; sorry for the detour. I actively searched for a badly rated movie, and this one happened to hit the mark at a dazzling 22 percent on Rotten Tomatoes. And I have to say, I think I found my new “dying of a cold, sipping on Dr. Pepper” movie. It’s just that ridiculous.
Directed by Frank Marshall, and based on Michael Chrichton’s book, “Congo” is three plots rolled into one that all lead to the same problem: killer mega-gorillas in a lost jungle city. I could try to summarize all three story lines, but I’ll try to keep it brief by just mentioning the four most important characters. Herkermer Homolka (Tim Curry) is a Romanian who’s trying to find
Me too, Bruce. It’s a lot to handle.
Solomon’s lost city of Zinj. Dr. Karen Ross (Laura Linney) is a telecommunications scientist, former CIA agent and all around badass trying to find her missing ex-fiance (Bruce Campbell) who disappeared in the jungle on a diamond exploration. Dr. Peter Elliot (Dylan Walsh) is a primatologist trying to bring his trained gorilla, Amy (who is an absolute darling of a muppet) back to the jungle to see if he can train other gorillas to talk. Captain Munro Kelly (Ernie Hudson) is the slick-talking guide who’s just making sure nobody dies. Oh, and a volcano is about to erupt.
Starting out, this movie was eerily familiar and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Until I realized that Chrichton is also responsible for “Jurassic Park.” After that, it all made sense because “Congo” is essentially “Jurassic Park” with killer gorillas bashing people’s heads in instead of a T-Rex demolishing a bathroom.
So yeah, it’s pretty ridiculous. But also really fun. I mean like a cheap roller coaster with squeaky hinges fun. You’ll
Same.
live, but you feel nervous from beginning to end.
The acting, as you’d expect, is fairly mediocre but that’s mostly due to the less than stellar adapted screenplay. I’m sure that the novel’s writing is pretty great, but I really question who’s decision it was to have Ernie Hudson talk like a 1940’s noir detective. Curry, a natural with this sort of character, is just the right amount of creepy and hilarious with an accent that has to be fake, but we’re having too much fun to notice. Linney is pretty cold, which is odd considering she’s got major chops in the acting department, and Walsh is just your lovable well-intentioned nerd who just wants to save all the gorillas. Pretty standard.
Oh, my heart.
The best character, by far, is Amy the animatronic gorilla. Yes, I am fully aware that she is neither human nor a living thing, but this fluffy robot has got some soul. More than the warm-blooded actors, I cared about Amy’s well-being and even more about the fact that she drinks martinis faster than one of the “Sex and City” women. She’s a fiery one: we’d be great friends.
It’s hard to pinpoint what the really big issues are in this movie, because it’s just all-around bad. From the CGI lava to the likely inaccurate hieroglyphic writing on the walls of ancient temples, it’s just a few notches better than any movie on the SyFy channel. It’s saving grace is the humor –intended or not. This was a really funny movie.
And there’s lasers. I forgot to mention those.
Anyway, I know I’ll be forcing my loved ones to watch this movie with me for a very long time. You ought to do the
“Let’s just try to get through this flop, OK?”
same.
