Photos courtesy of Netflix
Happy belated Turkey Day! I sincerely hope you’re reading this while eating a franken-sandwich compiled of your Thanksgiving leftovers. And I hope you finally managed to escape the clutches of your relatives. There are only so many times a person can handle the “so how’s college going?” and “how’s the love life?” questions.
The late ’80s are practically synanymous with John Hughes. He’s the king of teen melodrama and moral life lessons, but I’m still not that keen on his work. I’ve got a few problems with the unrealistic resolution to “The Breakfast Club,” and I really think that Molly Ringwald’s prom dress in “Pretty In Pink” could use some serious surgery. So I wasn’t too suprised that I would have my reservations about “Dutch,” but at least I had a pretty good time.
Rough-bred Dutch Dooley (Ed O’Neill) forces his girlfriend’s obnoxious son, Doyle (Ethan Embry), into a road trip from Atanta to Chicago for Thanksgiving after the boy’s father bails on their plans. The two obviously loathe each other, and take every chance to give the other physical and mental grief.
I had never seen Ethan Embry play anything other than an adorable stoner until this film. Doyle is basically what I consider the a child antichrist: ruthless, has no friends, pratices karate on his own and has a severe disdain for the working class. There’s a great sense of schradenfreud as Dutch ducktapes him to a hockey stick and gags him to get him into the car, and even more so when he makes the precocious punk walk 50 miles in the snow to reach their motel. It’s just some good old fashioned tough love, right?
This is your face when you realize how creepy this all is.
That is until it hits you that what is going on is actually super creepy. Dutch is basically an evil, abusive stepdad until Doyle grows a heart out of nowhere. From the moment we first meet Dutch, he’s obviously not somebody to mess with, making a new threat every 10 minutes or so. Sure, it’s Ed O’neill and he’s a lovable sourpuss with a short temper so there are plenty of times when you cheer him on. But soon after, you get the feeling that you’re a horrible person for going along with it. There is no way that this kind of behavior would be well-received in real life, even if the kid was the lynchpin of the apocalypse.
But thank the heavens this isn’t real life and we can laugh about it, because this movie has its great moments of dark wit. It’s probably the darkest I’ve ever seen from Hughes, but it’s still got his one-line punches that stick. So yeah, maybe I am a horrible person for laughing along to other people’s misery. But we all need a good dose of it sometimes.
Do I agree with the 14 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes? Not really. I’d give it at least a 45 percent, purely for the giggles.
Just placing this here to motivate you. Happy post-Thanksgiving!
