Photos courtesy of Netflix
I don’t have a delicate way to say this: I really hate zombies. I loathe zombies. I despise zombies. If there is any way I can rid the media of the obnoxious shuffling undead I’d do it no matter the cost. I especially hate zombies when I am tricked into watching them. So, by default, Ruairi Robinson’s “The Last Days on Mars” really deserves the 20 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. With an exceptional cast that did it’s damn finest to make this movie the best it could, it’s still a dud, and a massive disappointment.
The story tells thr tale of a futuristic crew of international astronauts stationed on Mars for six months. It’s down to
Oooohhh, artsy!
the final 19 hours of the mission, and one of the crew discovers a biological entity in a core sample. One by one, they succumb to the unknown threat as they fight to stay alive and uninfected.
The unknown and unexplained aforementioned biological entity is some form of space mold that turns people into zombies, because of course it is. And these are the worst zombies you could ever imagine: they don’t even go for the brains of flesh of their living prey. They just bite someone, slurp up a lot of water and move on to being aggressive and gross. For a lazy “thriller” plot device, this really takes the cake.
Gladly, the ensemble actually does a pretty good job and the roles are filled by some familiar faces. Liev Schreiber
Same.
stars as Vincent Campbell, the lead man/only ship mechanic. He’s claustrophobic, funny, and does what’s needed of him. Alongside Rebecca Lane (Romola Gramai), the two make a fine twosome, and possible love interest. Their chemistry really carries through to the bitter end. The rest of the cast do their part, notably Elias Koteas as the captain and Olivia Williams as Kim. Kim is the character designed to be hated from the start, but you side with her within minutes because she makes the smartest decisions. Captain Brunel is a tired old leader who’s just ready to see his kids again, and the exhaustion is palpable. As for the others, they’re good but not really worth mentioning.
This was a stunning attempt, really. The cinematography was great, and for the first 30 minutes I was hooked. But then came the space zombies and I just wanted to leave. I’m sure someone’s bound to like it, but they failed to get me hooked. Next time, try to come up with a more captivating villain.
Maybe just a mean haiku.
