By Jordan Wannemacher
Well y’all, this week’s “Teen Mom 2” was just bursting with bad decisions! After all, that is how these teens got into their situations in the first place now isn’t it?
Kailyn finally had to get rid of her new boy-toy in order to avoid homelessness this week. Good luck having to work with that overenthusiastic weirdo now that you had to dump him (over the phone) because your vengeful plan to invoke jealousy out of your angry baby daddy completely backfired.
Kailyn has got to be in the most awkward situation of any human being I’ve ever seen. She is literally not wanted anywhere, and I’m sure Jordan’s running full speed in the other direction right now. I’m glad her mom finally gave her a car but what that lady really needs to give her is a hug.
Janelle finally realized she has no money for a lawyer and is pretty resource-less so she finally gave up custody of her little curly fry, Jace, to Barbara. I’m glad you got a job Janelle, but isn’t the point to help support your son, not go shopping for Abercrombie & Fitch circa 2003 skirts to go “pawtying” in? I wouldn’t let you take Jace out alone by yourself either! You can barely take care of yourself; you’re certainly not going to be allowed to supervise an infant around explosives.
Leah and Corey have now become the Tyler and Caitlin of last “Teen Mom” for me. It makes the show a little more enjoyable to watch when you actually have someone to cheer for since they’re making mature decisions. These Appalachian lovebirds are actually trying really hard to own up to their responsibilities since they know something is seriously wrong with one of their twin’s health right now.
I’m glad they’re trying to work things out but Corey apparently slept with another girl two weeks ago so I’m still not convinced. Take heed Leah.
Ugh, Chelsea. First of all, I hope that no one accepts her to beauty school because I vote that she’s not allowed to touch anyone’s hair. If her beautician skills resemble her own hairdo, then I don’t think anyone wants any part of that. I feel like I’d walk out of the hair salon with pink bangs, leopard print ribbons and bleach eating away at my scalp.
Second, it is not going to work out with Adam. I repeat, it is not going to work out with Adam. Does someone need to tattoo it on her forehead? There’s plenty of room up there for an inscription.
Chelsea, your father pays for your rent, bills and groceries, and spoils you rotten on the condition that you don’t totally screw up your life anymore than you already have. So, instead, Chelsea just falls behind on her homework and hides the fact that she’s dating the guy that called their little girl a mistake.
Raise your hand if you’re ungrateful.
Chelsea’s dumb decisions are almost as annoying as her grammar. Her complete negligence in honoring the word “well” is eating away at the writer inside of me. “He doesn’t watch her good.” No, Chelsea. He does not watch her well.
Ugh, keep studying Chelsea. We can all tell that you’re not.
Next week on “Teen Mom 2”: Janelle gets covered in hickies and I’m pretty sure Kailyn’s still not wanted around anywhere.
Just remember, kids, teen pregnancy is 100% preventable.
