Written by Ally Abruscato. Photo courtesy of Halle Garrett
I grew up rejecting my femininity. I saw it as something to be hidden because it would make me seem weak. Seeing as I was highly influenced by Taylor Swift’s “You Belong With Me,” I was determined to separate myself from the traditional idea of being a feminine woman. I played kickball at recess and wore graphic tees. I did everything I could to not be seen as a “girly-girl.” Today, I view it all in a different light.
Although I still have some “tomboy” tendencies, I don’t do anything in rejection of femininity but to embrace my reality. To be honest, I never wear heels and don’t own makeup. But these parts of myself are no longer based on society’s perception of me. I think that heels are uncomfortable and I enjoy being able to run at any point in time. And for me, makeup makes me feel weird and takes too long to apply. It’s simply a personal decision based on my preferences.
As a young girl, I felt that I had to be one or the other: extremely feminine or not at all so. With age, I learned that, in reality, it doesn’t matter at all. Although society tends to set restrictions on women, especially as children, none of it has any significance in the grand scheme of things. The ideas we as a society have about women and femininity are often old-fashioned and unnecessary.
So when it comes to being a woman, I’ve learned to embrace it instead of ignoring it. I’m proud to be a woman. I no longer think that acting feminine is a sign of weakness. The women in my life are some of the strongest people I know. My mother and all of the other mothers in the world are my biggest inspirations and influences. It should not matter whether someone wears makeup or not. Women should not be judged or punished based on the clothes they put on. I think it’s important that women of all ages understand it is okay for them to be whoever they want to be.
I have spent too much time in my life trying to conform to a certain ideal. Looking back, I made myself into someone I wasn’t in an effort to stand out. I think that this is the case for many women. There is an unrealistic standard set for women that cannot be achieved. Oftentimes, the media has presented impractical versions of females through movies, advertisements and social media. These ideals are impossible to meet and can cause an unhealthy mindset, especially in young girls.
When we turn away from the traditional and perfect idea of a woman, we are free to accept people as they truly are. Although it can be hard to believe, I try to remind myself that I can be exactly who I want to be. I don’t have to look like a model or act any certain way. As we continue to step out of the mindset of there being a “normal” woman, we can all be who we want to be.
All of this is to say that womanhood is complex. Anyone should feel free to embrace femininity or masculinity without doing it for anyone but themselves. Society’s standards are superficial and shouldn’t impact our view of ourselves. No matter what being a woman means to you, know that all versions are acceptable and strong in their way. Happy Women’s History Month.
