By Anna Geannopoulos
Surprise, surprise, the biggest fashion offenders are tailor-maid to fit all of a woman’s fashion “needs.” Check out these entertainingly heinous crimes against society.
The Hip-T
For a simple $19.95 you can have piece of cloth to go around your waist, to hide your butt cleavage. That’s a lot of cash to be spending on about one third of a real shirt, especially when there is nothing stopping it from falling down and bunching up around your waist instead of “hiding your muffin top.” Invest in a belt instead or a pair of jeans instead (preferably not in the style of the next item).
The Jean Thong
Yes, that is a pair of jeans where the top has been cut off and replaced by a sewn-in bikini thing made of out denim. Perfect for showing of your lower hip region, these winners look great paired with a crop top and or no top at all. I’m having some logistical problems with this one—do you wear a thong underneath your jean thong?
The Camel-Toe Blocker
Basically a piece of firm cloth positioned in your underwear to prevent it from riding up your crotch when wearing tight pants, this “patent pending, no slip frontal wedgie eliminator,” will cost you a mere $10. A perfect gift for anyone who loves tight tights.
The Sheer Jeans
Hate those tough morning decisions between tights and jeans? Now you don’t have to decide! Thanks to Siwy Sophie Skinny Jeans, you can be all jeans in the back and tights in the front. Oh baby, your knees look so sexy. (Sorry, ladies. This one’s sold out)
The Bra-wallet
Surprisingly similar to a project I completed in industrial design before I switched majors, this nude-colored pouch hangs from your bra so you can wear your tight clothing and not have to bring an oh-so-easy-to-lose-purse. Plus now you actually have a reason to reach into your shirt and draw attention to yourself. I think I’ll stick to my wristlet for now.
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