Three Years in Savannah
Written by Ashley-Reid Baker. Photos by Ashley-Reid Baker.
Moving to a new place is hard, finding your favorite spots is even harder, and making new friends is the hardest. Colleges never include how hard it is to find yourself in a new city in their welcome packets. It took me years to discover what I love about Savannah, GA, but now that I have, I want to share my experiences so that maybe there’s one less lonely, lost freshman.
Although South Carolina isn’t far from Savannah, it felt like I’d entered a different universe my freshman year. I was born and raised in a small city called Sumter, where Walmarts flourish, and everyone knows your grandparents. On top of living in the same place my whole life, I went to the same school with the same people from preschool to twelfth grade. I had no idea how sheltered my concept of a social life was until I started my freshman year in Savannah in 2023.
My first roommate and I met using Savannah College of Art and Design’s roommate questionnaire system, which paired us up perfectly, as we’re still best friends to this day. Since we got so close so fast, I didn’t try to make many friends because I thought, “Why bother when I have the most awesome friend sleeping six feet away from me every night, and we’re going to live together for the next three years?”
She ended up transferring the summer before our sophomore year. I was so devastated and set back socially that I begged my mom to let me transfer too. Going into my second year felt even worse and more confusing than the first year. I thought I would never find myself or get comfortable and I would just feel scared forever, every day, eternally.
Eventually, I became less afraid, and with the help of the few friends I made the year prior, I began to come out of my shell. For the first time in my life, I wore whatever I wanted. Knee-high striped socks with jorts and a tight T-shirt- yep, I wore that. Platform boots with ripped jeans, a zip-up jacket with a sports bra underneath? Wore that to class. I stopped having shame in my outfits and started enjoying putting together an ensemble.
My tiny high school required us to wear uniforms, so I’d never had to put much thought into what I wanted to wear or really had any idea of self-expression. It was mind-blowing and revelatory to realize I could try any aesthetic, makeup, hairstyle, or shoes, and the people around me would never bat an eye. That was my favorite revelation on my long journey to discovering myself. I can wear whatever I want and feel great doing it!
Halfway through that school year, I got a job. It helped tremendously with my everlasting yearning for community, but I was (and still am) the youngest hire, and I found out how exhausting it is to go to school, have a cat, and work a part-time job. Kudos to those working more than one job while in school.
Being there allowed me to learn more about myself and how I prefer to interact with strangers, friends, and coworkers. I found out I am allowed to have confidence in myself and feel proud of how far I’d come from my little hometown. Until I started working, I would drive the two and a half hours home every other weekend because I couldn’t shake the anxiety of not feeling the sense of belonging I read about in books and saw in movies. It helps to put yourself out there.
By the time I started my junior year, I had gone off campus and was living with two women in their twenties who don’t go to school, but work here in the city. I thought this would automatically give me the knowledge I needed to fit into the city and feel comfortable. It did not. At least for the first six months.
Christmas break, while everyone from school went away, and I had more time alone than I knew what to do with, I finally asked my roommates if they wanted to hang out together. From then on, we watch nearly every TV show together, talk every day (even when our schedules don’t align), and always include each other. I feel so lucky to live with them. Although I wasn’t immediately granted the knowledge of how to find myself, I was gifted with two beautiful friends who give me their advice and remind me there’s no time limit to figure it all out. They also showed me where all the best bars are.
Now, as a senior, I can feel myself developing a new anxiety over how I’ll “rediscover myself” wherever I end up next. I mean, I just started to feel good about my identity, beliefs, and social circle, and the best restaurants only revealed themselves to me in the last year. But what helps me to not overthink that and still enjoy every day is to remember that 18-year-old girl who came to Savannah for the first time and cried in the dorm shower every night the first week because she thought she would never be happy in a new city. I think about how different my life is now, and how content I am and proud of who I’m becoming every day.
The key is not exactly to find yourself but to believe in yourself and have patience.
